I've done a lot of crazy shit since I started exploring my gay side, and I probably won't detail everything as I don't want yall to know what a true sexual deviant I really am, but here's a story of a situation I thought I would never be in....

I met this guy on this gay chat site I stumbled across, you know the kind where guys just jerk off on camera. He messaged me first and we just kinda shot the shit with each other and ended up switching skype names. So from time to time we would jerk off with each other on skype and talk dirty to each other, that kind of thing. It was just kinda fun to do that with someone and I didn't think anything would come out of it. He was quite a bit older than me and openly gay but he looked young enough and at least on cam we had decent chemistry. (and he had amazing blue eyes) I think we kept at it skyping for a few months, not that often. He lived in a major city about an hour's flight away so we entertained the idea of actually meeting up. But me being poor I wasn't gonna spring for a flight to visit him. Then one day Southwest had an airflight sale and suddenly a round trip wasn't looking too bad.

So I brought it up to him..he actually kinda dodged my emails for awhile but finally wrote back and said we could try it. He had gotten out of a bad relationship and hadn't actually been dating or doing anything with guys for quite some time and didn't feel quite that comfortable to do this for real, but he said he'd give it a shot. The deal was he'd pick me up at the airport and we'd try a date and if it went well I could stay at his place for the weekend. If not I would make contingency plans with other friends I knew who lived in his city. Which was reasonable..who knew if we'd actually have real chemistry in reality right. So the flight was booked and here I was making this flight up to meet a guy I (essentially) barely knew! Like wtf was I doing? It just kept running through my mind as I was on my way 'this is happening'.

I finally meet him waiting for me at the airport. There's the shock of actually meeting in person and I think we gave each other this awkward hug when we met. He drives me back to his apartment and we make small talk. Get inside his place and continue making small talk. But there's obvious sexual tension the whole time and soon we are getting down to business. It works. We click. I'm definitely staying the whole weekend.

The weekend was just a combination of sex and sleep..or slex as I heard it termed in some random article I read once. Just kind of a perfect lazy weekend of sex and fun with someone I felt like I knew for a long time. We went out to dinner one of the nights and maybe cuz I was in a city where I didn't know anyone, I felt brave enough to grab and hold his hand walking around in public. It felt good...liberating in fact. And he certainly didn't seem to mind. It was just a good weekend. But it came to an end and although we obviously weren't gonna start a long-distance relationship thing, we left on good terms.

We called each other up occasionally after that. I actually don't think we ever skyped again..I think it would have just felt weird to jerk off on camera to each other after having done the real thing. But maybe 4 months after we had met up for real, he cut off contact from me. Total contact. It was weird 'cuz he had actually called me up like normal one day, but I was out with friends or something and told him I'd have to call him back. When I called back a few days later, he didn't pick up, which wasn't so unusual as we did play a lot of phone tag with each other. So I kept trying a few times and left some voicemails..probably bordering on stalker-like. (hey in medicine you have to be very persistent..all medical students are experts in tracking down random obscure bits of information from the medical record)

But I never did hear back from him. I don't know why. I know he still had some hangups from his last relationship and was hurt pretty badly from it, so maybe he was getting too attached to me and didn't want to become emotionally hung up on me too, especially since there wasn't gonna be any foreseeable future. I'm not sure. It would have been nice to get some answers. You'd think an older more experienced guy would be more forthcoming, but I guess not.  It just sucked to get the knife from him so abruptly with no explanation. But I'm a big boy and I can handle one rejection. Hopefully it was more his deal than mine. I like to think I'm not insane and nutso..but then the crazy ones never know they are crazy.

Anyway, overall it was just a crazy experience and I still can't believe I went from an online chat room to being in the guy's actual bed hundreds of miles away. It was a really fun weekend and we had great chemistry so I don't regret that part. Like a lot of life though, I guess we were just in the wrong place and the wrong time in our lives.