Friday, March 29, 2013

my sleep cycle has been completely f-cked this week. i got in the habit of taking a "nap" after work earlier week and those always end up turning into a fat-ass nap that just keeps me up all night. sleep is definitely my weakness in life.

anyway in one of my deranged partial all-nighters i was catching up on my TV shows. as i've mentioned before i've taken a liking to "the new normal" on NBC. well this week's episode was just stunning. i really strongly urge you to watch it. i honestly can't believe they aired an episode like that on network tv. briefly, it's about one of the main characters going back to the boy scouts as an adult troop leader but being scared about it 'cuz he's gay. i don't want to say anything else about the plot, but it encapsulated nearly all the hopes and fears that i have about coming out, and it just really hit hard for me. i think if you are a fellow homo you will find something to identify with in this episode, and even if you're not it's a great perspective on discrimination, so just watch it and see what you think. (i actually liked the message of the girls' storyline too.)

anyway i commend the show for tackling a very politically-charged issue head on like that. man that last scene was so powerful. check it out.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

hey all
you know that funk you get in when you're not really busy, but you can't seem to get anything done? yea that's been my march. it's not been stressful at all but i feel like i've accomplished very little and i really could have put in a few more posts this month. well here ya guys go...a few random tangents as usual.

nothing going on with my love life. there has been one very cute guy who messaged me a few weeks ago on grindr but has dodged any idea to meet up and hasn't been too 'chatty' after being the one to make first contact. i'm never really sure how to interpret online chatting/flirting. i assumed he was interested in developing something given he messaged me first, but all subsequent chats i feel like i'm pulling teeth and being 'that guy' who keeps talking without getting the hint. i guess i am just a little confused because he was the one to talk to me first so i figure he should be the one putting more effort into the chat but he's not. he's cute though so i'll keep giving it a shot.

aside from that i continue to have a complicated relationship with a regular fuck buddy i have off and on talked about non-specifically. i need to really just give you guys all the details but that is for another post.

i've been going to the gym more. not enough to be on the cover of men's health anytime soon but i'm pleased with myself for getting off my lazy ass and going a few times a few week. and it does feel pretty good after you get in a good work out. actually i've been averaging out to like twice a week which is still pretty pitiful but hey it's a work in progress. i do think i'm making a few gains and i'm supposed to start working out with my chief who has a body i wouldn't mind trading with so we'll see how that goes. it's definitely hard work and i admire guys who have the dedication to be at the gym all the time. if you have any workout tips or regimens feel free to share with me.

match day came and went a few weeks ago. (congrats to all the ms4s out there.) it was hard to believe it had been two years since my match day on march 17th 2011. med school is getting farther and farther away and it's such a surreal realization. (i know, i'm so experienced with my whole years of being a doctor under my belt) i really kinda miss med school though. even the craziness of intern year, it was still a good time and it's hard to believe it's been a year since that all happened already. one of my weaknesses is that i'm a sentimental fool but i think it's always nice to think back on old times (remembering the good and not the bad)

on a somewhat similar note, i've been meaning to write a post on my hookup history. not exactly a tell all, but just get a little more real with you guys about my relatively extensive sexual exploits. i kinda have avoided talking about it but another blogger i've been emailing says i should write about it and reassure other guys they're not the only ones out there who have or did fall into the hookup culture so i'll try to make that my next post.

i'll be waiting to hear this marriage decision. i hope it goes well. i kinda cringe though when i see all the press it's getting. i think the last thing we want, or at least i want, is to keep shoving this gay thing into people's faces. yes i want the right to marry another man if i so choose, but i don't want the general population to be turned off by all the crap this (non)-issue is getting. i was reading a piece on portman and his son, and it was interesting to read a statistic that said something like, 'most people turn in favor of gay marriage when they know someone who is gay'. i guess what that means is it's up to us normal, but dick-loving, joes to come out and show society that we're not that villainous after all.

penultimate thing, head on over to this blog catch up on the last few posts, and leave a thought or two for him. i'm interested in what other thoughts people have about his situation cuz i personally have no clue what to think. i think the bisexual thing is always more difficult to deal with and i'd like him to have as many different [constructive] opinions as possible. hope he doesn't mind the shoutout...

with that i'll leave you guys with this hot pic from seancody. more pictures on my blog is gonna be my new thing 'cuz god knows we need more eye candy in our lives. i think that's a really hot position for two guys to be in and they are both extremely attractive!


Saturday, March 9, 2013

Monday, March 4, 2013

i saw this commercial on tv the other day for the amazon kindle and was just kind of absentmindedly watching it (ok to be honest only really paying attention because i thought the guy in it was hot), so i did a double take when i heard the end and was pretty surprised by it. but i thought it was very funny and natural and it's cool that amazon would make a commercial like that. i'm sure there's some anti-homo group campaigning against amazon now...i suppose they could add book burning to their to-do list too.

check out the ad below, and also a gratuitous screen shot of the hunky actor in it.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

first, check out this video. it's a harlem shake video of the nebraska gymnastics team. it's hot.

second, i did meet up with scruff guy and tell him i didn't want to date anymore. we went to happy hour/dinner which went well enough although the news i had to tell him was in the back of my mind. i kept trying to find a good time to break it but obviously couldn't find one. towards the end he kept bringing up what we should do after and i was like "ummmm....not sure." so when we were taking care of the check i excused myself to the bathroom, came back, and just said it. he took it well. he appreciated my honesty. he actually does still want to be friends. he did ask me what were some of the reasons i didn't think it would work. i didn't want to be that honest with him so i avoided that question but just told him i didn't feel the chemistry was right for what i was looking for, which is true. interestingly, he still invited me over to his place after and to make it brief, we woke up naked together the next morning. not that we're turning this into a friends with benefits thing, i think it was just more like a last hurrah kind of thing.

some of you commented my quest for THE ONE may be a quixotic search. i'm not so naive that i think prince charming will appear suddenly and i'll live happily ever after. (that was phone guy, and he's gone for now) but we did go on 3 dates and that was enough for me to know that there wasn't enough there with this guy to keep pursuing things. as someone put it, nothing was overtly wrong, but there just wasn't enough to build on and honestly i just wouldn't have wanted to settle with this guy. i'm still in my 20s, and i still believe i can keep searching those vast gay seas for the right man. there were specific points in my future man that i would have liked for this guy to have, but overall it really was my gestalt telling me this guy wasn't it. that's the whole point of dating right?

so, it's back to square one again. any suggestions for other online/phone app venues would be appreciated. currently i still frequent grindr, scruff, a4a, and okcupid. tried manhunt, match, and jackd but not interested in those. is there some new thing i'm missing out on? aside from like...actual human interaction somewhere?