Wednesday, March 23, 2011

i don't really follow any porn sites regularly (and i would never buy porn, streaming is the way of the future!), but i followed seancody way back before i ever had the balls to mess with guys for real so out of habit i still check it out for updates. (fyi the other site i check for my porn fix is imagine my surprise then when one of the guys i used to go to high school with showed up in a solo video a while back. i haven't seen this guy since hs so i wasn't actually sure it was him at first. luckily i am friends with him on fb so it wasn't hard to do a double check..and also determine that he was listed as in a relationship with a chick! i was curious at that point whether he'd show up later in another video, but nope it just ended up being the solo vid, so i guess he was just doing it for the money.

it definitely would have been weird to see him having sex with another guy. yes i did check out his solo pics, but more out of curiosity than any kind of lust. come on, i went to school with this guy. (and he doesn't fit my type anyway.) as for his pecker, while perfectly respectable, wasn't among the greater dick monoliths seancody typically finds, so i guess that was a little good for my self-esteem. overall it was just really weird to see someone i know in porn, especially from my small town. i've heard a girl from a neighboring high school also went into hardcore porn, so maybe it's something in the water where i grew up. how the hell do you even get involved in porn in the first place? anyway i'm not planning to bring it up if i ever run into him at a high school reunion or something, but just imagine how awkward that conversation would go...

PS speaking of which, check out the asian guy on seancody right now. (btw has there ever been an asian guy on sc before..?) ...those splits really make his ass beg "fuck me!"

Monday, March 21, 2011

well it's been a crazy past few days. i MATCHED aka i now have a job for sure as a resident doctor in june! i'm really's gonna be in a city i have absolutely no connections to, but i'm pumped to experience something new and meet new people. (alternatively also terrified about moving to a new city where i won't know anyone...) overall though, it's such a great feeling to be able to look forward to this next stage of my life. and to know i'll finally be making some $$$$ in june!

everything leading up to and following match day has just been a shit show. our coping mechanism last week to deal with the anxiety of upcoming match was alcohol, and more alcohol, and all the celebration post-match has included alcohol, and more alcohol. my liver hates me, but i think this string of binge drinking will continue for at least a few more days. i gave myself a break today, but i'm sure i'll be out for a few too many drinks again tomorrow night. at what age exactly is it to be inappropriate to still be binge drinking lol.

it is honestly so incredible to finally be at the end of medical school. it's only been 4 years, but it feels like i've been a student forever. and now that there's less than 3 months left, i'm sure time will kick into hyperdrive and it will be over in a blink...right when it's starting to get good! of course somewhere in the midst of all this celebration, i need to remember to crack open a book once in awhile 'cuz all the info i've learned the past few years is leaking out at an exponential rate!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

man, crazy how time flies sometimes. i have a few things to update here goes.

first, monday kicks off match week, when all med school seniors find out where they're gonna work, so keep your fingers crossed on our behalf. there's been enough anxiety about this and my strategy has just been to put it out of mind so that's enough about that lol.

second, i have not had a chance to update because i took a few days to go to NEW ORLEANS for mardi gras. needless to say, it was a crazy experience and i have been playing major catch up since getting back. i'm not sure what new orleans is like on a typical weekend, but i must recommend that if you go to new orleans, mardi gras weekend is definitely the time to go. crowds of people, alcohol a plenty, beads upon beads, and lots and lots of fun.

unfortunately as i went with straight friends, i didn't really get a chance to check out the gay bars. i did manage to sneak off on my own one night and checked out a few of the gay bars. i don't know whether it was just the mardi gras season or new orleans at baseline, but there was a fair amount of cock out in public at these places. someone was telling me a black screen over the balcony was put up to shield the public for that reason lol. anyway i won't go into specifics, but i did engage in some public nudity after some encouragement from some new friends. i can confidently say i have never whipped my cock out in such a public forum lol. i did draw the line at giving/receiving head in public, although there were many others who did not have an issue with that. as most patrons and workers did not bat an eye when it did happen, i guess i shouldn't have been such a prude lol.

besides that quick foray into the gay bars, just doing the regular bourbon street stuff with my friends was fun and our livers were all sufficiently exhausted by the end of our trip. i must say i was surprised there wasn't more titty flashing as that was my general idea of mardi gras. i guess ladies WON'T do just anything for some plastic beads. overall though new orleans was awesome to visit and i would love to go back some time, even not during mardi gras.

in other news, i recently reconnected with an old fuck buddy. while it is nice to be having sex more often, i always feel like there's a certain spark missing when we hook up. even guys i've just had one time things with, i can instantly feel when there's that passion and urgency. with this guy, not so much...things are a little tamer. but we have enough fun that i'm not complaining as it is. plus he lives close to me and likes sleeping together like i do so i've stayed over a few nights. (yes i am not ashamed to admit i like cuddling and spooning lol) it is pretty clear he likes me more than i like him, so i wonder if that is playing a role for my lack of always want more what you can't have right?

oh yeah, that reminds me, i was planning on giving up masturbation for lent. i'm not catholic, but i like the concept of giving up something. a buddy of mine from hs and i actually tried giving up jerking off for lent one year. he managed to make it all the way, i think i lost it somewhere in the 30-day mark. in my defense he is actually catholic, so i think he may have had a little more impetus to stay true. anyway since that year, i've always wanted to go the full 40 days, but clearly have never had the willpower to do so. i was gonna try it again this year, but then i realized realistically i could never do it, even if i gave myself the caveat that i couldn't jerk off, but could still get off by another person. however, all is not lost as i will eventually be going on a month long trip with some buddies to celebrate the end of medical school. so given the lack of privacy i will have on that trip, i am thinking about celibacy for that period. given what a sex addict i am, i am sure that will fall through also, but i'm going to give it a shot haha.

finally, just wanted to say a word about the japan earthquake. i always feel really frivolous and guilty when i update because then i think about all the tragedy in the world i could be expending my energy on, but i guess if you wanted to read about that stuff you'd be somewhere else and not on this blog. so i will not be a debbie-downer and recognize that sometimes we all need an escape to the less profound things in life. but do take a moment to check out this link, it has some pretty powerful images from the quake.

alright, happy sunday everyone, hope ya got to sleep in and make up for that stupid daylight savings time!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

one of the things i love about being in medicine is how it can always take you out of the bubble of your own life and make you truly appreciate life. every patient has a story to tell, and one of the best parts of my job is being allowed into a patient's life to find out their story. a person's state of health is so intimately wrapped in the details of their personal life that we as the healthcare provider can't help but be sucked into that world. some docs don't really like that and prefer to compartmentalize things and know the bare minimum to do their job, but i kind of like getting the whole story.

anyway, most of the time we kind of gloss over against the shit we see every day as somewhat of a defense mechanism, but sometimes there are just those moments where you still get hit by the gravity of a patient's condition. recently i had a patient, pretty young (as in his early 50s) who was in a coma after suffering cardiac arrest in the field. he was in the ICU and eventually going to be formally pronounced brain dead and put up for organ donation. so my team saw the patient and after we left the room to discuss his case, his wife came to visit. i watched her out of the corner of my eye as she walked in to the room. she gave her husband a small kiss on the forehead, quietly rearranged his blankets, and took a seat to watch over him. just seeing her little gestures of affection and knowing she would never be able to have her husband back, that even as he was in that room breathing with his heart still beating, he was already as good as gone forever from her....those are the hard parts of the day...but also the parts that remind me to be so thankful that i really only have stupid bratty first world problems to deal with.

on a day-to-day basis it's easy to get swept up in the chaos and drama of our own lives and even become overwhelmed by it sometimes, but i think as long as you maintain a healthy amount of perspective, you can always find something, someone to be joyful about in your life.