Sunday, February 27, 2011

rank list done

another week done, another week closer to graduation. we turned in our rank list this week, which is basically a list prioritizing where you want to work after graduation. you don't actually get a choice; you prioritize everywhere you interviewed, the hospitals prioritize everyone they interview for a job, and some watson-like computer compares your list to the hospitals' and somehow spits out a match. given how important it is to get a job, some people have applied all over the country, from the east coast, west coast, midwest, south, etc etc. but they won't know where they'll end up until match day because you could end up anywhere from your first choice to your last choice depending how desirable a candidate you are. and once the match is made, you are essentially locked in, so even if you end up with your last choice in shitsville, you still have to accept your new position. if it sounds confusing and stupid, you're right, it is. but anyway, at least our part is done and out of our hands, so now just to wait for the official results in a few weeks.

in the meantime, i am doing my best to enjoy all the free time i now have. kind of like senioritis, but lamer 'cuz we as future professionals try to maintain some semblance of maturity. actually scratch that i feel like i'm back in undergrad again. i've been catching up on my tv, watching movies, playing videogames, drinking, going out, and sleeping late...pretty much exactly what i was doing a few years ago in college. there was this article in the WSJ recently about how guys in their 20s are perpetually stuck in adoloscence and......i agree! hey, if growing up means forgetting how to have fun, i never want to grow up.

the bad thing about all this idle time is that i am still as horny as ever. unfortunately i've dropped contact with most of my old hookup buddies so that avenue is kind of dead. i was even thinking about setting up an adam4adam account, but i am doing my best to refrain as i don't really want to go down that slutsville path again. so maybe i will just take a vow of celibacy til graduation lol.

Sunday, February 20, 2011


this is a perfect lazy sunday. i have been trying to get some work done but thanks to the wonders of the internet, i have found plenty of distractions. it doesn't help that it seems to be one of those days where sex is the only thing on my mind. sometimes i seriously think i have a sex addiction, then i remember i'm a guy and it's normal hahaha. fuck though, i'm sure you are all familiar with how it feels to just be so horned up and have no release.

i am very pissed at this invention known as tumblr because one link just leads to another..kind of like wikipedia but not quite as educational. here are some NSFW links that i have been enjoying.

i think a good fuck with some of the guys in those pics would be sure to cure my raging horniness right now lol. i've definitely spent enough time dicking around today so i will try to get my mind focused after this. happy sunday!

Friday, February 18, 2011


i finally manned up and got HIV tested. i had been putting it off for being either busy or scared to find out the result. well, i am negative.

NEGATIVE!!! HUGE, huge relief. it's been 2.5 months since my exposure, so i am pretty confident this is a true negative. fyi, there is a window period for detection where it can be missed for as long as 6 months, but i am taking this result as a clean slate. a true clean slate this more fucking around with unsafe sex. it just is not worth it, and the anxiety, fear and every emotion in between i've been dealing with since this latest exposure happened is more than enough. that all being said, i have to take this opportunity to soap box a little, both as a future doc and just as a regular guy facing the same risks and temptations we all do.

just don't fuck bareback.

(unless you completely, completely trust your partner is negative.)

we all know about HIV. i don't have to write a thousand-word essay to tell you all the bad things about it. unfortunately for whatever reason, HIV infection has actually increased in the past few years. the CDC has reported that the rate of new HIV infection is the highest in the under 30 population, probably the population most likely to be having unprotected sex, multiple partners, and probably the age group of a lot of the guys reading this blog.

everyone has their reasons for fucking without protection (i know i've had some very flimsy ones), but i doubt there's a single good one out there that is worth YOUR HEALTH. your own, insanely precious, immutable health. one thing i have definitely learned in medical school is how much we take for granted our good health and what a fucking gift it is to be healthy. why fuck it up for one, two, a few stupid loads?

i doubt anything i write could be that persuasive, but i thought i should try something as being a doctor is all about giving advice no one will listen to anyway. and i think one personally just has to get to that point to be responsible about one's sex practices---it's taken me awhile but i think i've finally gotten there.

bottom line, if you're not practicing safe sex already, just pause and think about it the next time. i know it's a completely different thing in the moment, but YOU, and your health, are just so much more valuable.

Monday, February 14, 2011

happy vday!

first of all, happy valentine's day to all, whether you have someone to spend it with or not.

i personally do not. i haven't really done anything for valentine's for the past few years, which is cool with me. at work today i was looking forward to coming home and getting some productive things done and hitting the gym tonight. but seeing people with flowers and gifts on the way home kinda bummed me out and now i just feel like sitting in bed wallowing in self-pity for a few hours lol. haha nah i'm good, more power to anyone who's having a special 2/14. i however, will be spending it listening to sappy 80s love song off pandora. right now "promise" by when in rome is on lol.

so by now you've probably heard about the chris lee/craigslist debacle. if not, do a google search. short story even shorter, a middle-aged, married congressman fudged some details about himself and responded to some craigslist personal ad and sent the woman a shirtless pic of himself, all off his own personal email account. once the woman found out who he was and went public with what he did, he just about instantly resigned. i could get into my love-hate relationship with craigslist, but for the sake of my dignity i will refrain from going into much detail (for now) lol. but this story is all the more reason why i have done my best to avoid random hookups off that, or any other site now. thank god for the republicans he wasn't responding to gay personals. another self-loathing homo congressman is probably the last thing the GOP wants right now. anyway i'm not saying i'd do him, but chris lee has a pretty good body for 46. i definitely wouldn't mind having a body like that at 46 lol.

i can't decide if the internet has been a force of good or evil, at least in regards to closeted men. on one hand it's an invaluable escape valve for releasing male sexual energy, but at the same time it probably keeps guys from seriously confronting and coming to terms with their sexual orientation when they can just pop online and arrange a quick hook-up. but then again, i don't really know what closeted guys did before the internet--rest stops? backwood roads? i can't imagine that being a much better alternative.

OK, i could spend days pontificating on the morality of craigslist hooking up, but given that it is valentine's day and cl is generally a depressing place, i will save it for another day. make love, be happy, think positive thoughts, and believe in the power of love!

Friday, February 11, 2011


i just came in from a night out and i am a little buzzed right now. it was a pretty fun night. hit up a few bars with my friends and ended up having enough drinks to get a good buzz and have a good time. i flirted with a few chicks, but didn't really go much further with them. i probably could have, but decided that it probably wouldn't be a good idea for a random hookup tonight. i think i actually got hit on by a guy too, which is unusual because i was at 'straight' places and i don't typically get hit on by guys. i guess his gaydar was on point, or maybe i'm just seeing everything through beer goggles and taking anyone talking to me as an attempt to get in my pants lol. anyway it was fun, but bottom line i am here in bed alone and not having sex so you can judge yourself how much success i really had tonight lol.

but dude, one thing i wanted to write about before i head to bed is what a pet peeve phones are for me. i feel like people are so controlled by their phones. every few minutes inevitably someone is pulling out their phone to check something. call me old-fashioned, but i think it's pretty rude to do that when you're in someone else's company. unfortunately it's so commonplace that i think people don't think it's a big deal. it is incredibly obvious when you're out though. i guess most people have somewhere else they'd rather be 'cuz if you look around you'll see that pale blue glow of a cell phone and someone furiously texting an unknown party. i mean, if you're out and you're not enjoying the company of the people you're with, why the fuck are you there in the first place? i'm definitely not 100% innocent and i've had my fair share of furtive booty call texts i try to answer when i'm out, but it's definitely a little ridiculous how addicted people are to their cell phone. 

so i'm not a huge fan of jerry seinfeld but this clip about cell phones is pretty good.

tomorrow's friday night, so if you're going out, just try to keep your cell phone deep in your pocket the whole night and observe how many people you can find in the bar looking to see what blackberry or iphone commands them to do lol. 

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

aaron rodgers

i'm not a diehard football fan, but i wanted to share this article i read today about aaron rodgers.

i just love reading about athletes who are down to earth, don't let getting famous get to their head, and are still good guys at heart. (there was a similar rick reilly column about derrick rose you should check out too). this article makes rodgers sound like a pretty cool guy. and who knew, apparently he's one of them super smart jocks and gets all the jeopardy questions right! my litmus test for anyone is whether or not i think i'd want to get a beer with them, and rodgers definitely sounds like the kind of guy who'd be fun to go out for a drink with. i do think his belt celebration thing is pretty lame, but i'll cut him some slack on that lol. so even though i think the packers are the underdog this sunday i'm gonna be rooting for them to win. isn't everyone sick of steeler nation at this point anyway?

PS stay safe if you're in an area getting slammed by the winter storm. this winter has suckeddddddddddd.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


ok, my brain is ready for take off. i'm about ready to check out until graduation. not that i don't want to learn anymore and improve my medical knowledge, but there are a lot of movies i haven't seen and many tv shows i have to catch up on. it's kinda crazy that i have just 3 more months of formal schooling left before i am set loose on the world. anyway, i'm not the best at playing hooky as my baseline sense of guilt is too high usually, but i know many tactics from my friends that i will be trying out this month to get out of work early.....

i guess i shouldn't be writing about how much work us medical students try to get out of. kinda makes you lose faith in the medical profession right? i actually would love to know what the perception of doctors is nowadays. sure there's a certain amount of respect for the field still, but i think with all the malpractice anecdotes, long waits, healthcare reform/insurance issues, and plastic surgeon glamor docs on tv etc etc etc, a certain amount of distrust has been bred among the public. which i'm all for, as you as the patient shouldn't wholly place blind trust in your docs, but there is a fine line of patient autonomy, where i think many docs are getting tired of patients thinking they know best, when we're the ones who have worked our butts off to get this far and be shown no respect by patients and their families. it's just a very very fine line of mutual respect nowadays i guess. anyway as far as i know, all my non-medical friends are excited and proud that i'm graduating soon, so there's still hope that not everyone, myself included, is all jaded about medicine!

alright that tangent aside, i was very depressed to see that the blog i plugged the other day, ( got taken down by the author. that guy was so freaking funny and the blog just disappeared. i can only imagine something negative happened to him and that's why he took it down. maybe he got cyberstalked or something. hopefully not, and i pray for his return one day...

speaking of which, another blog i followed for awhile closed too, and again, no clue what happened to it. ( it was a closet frat guy's blog..the guy actually was a little semi-detailed about his closet stuff, at least enough that someone at his school maybe could peace things together and blow his cover or something. the internet is so fucking crazy nowadays with things going viral and things like that. anyway, if anyone knows what happened to these blogs i'd love to know.

that's it for now, just felt like expounding some random thoughts before i head to bed.