Tuesday, August 5, 2014

where i've been...an update.

1. i graduated residency and now a full-grown doc! crazy how fast the 3 years went. the last few months of residency just flew by and i wanted to pull the e-brake on life in june cuz things were moving just too fast. one of the weird things about doing all this extra school and training is every few years you have to pick up your life and move somewhere new and you realize what a life you've built up in just 3-4 years. definitely gonna miss my friends and the city that i did residency in. and it's crazy that i started this blog when i was still a medical student!

2. i moved to a new city for my new job. it's a city i've always wanted to live in so i'm very excited to start a new life here. not sure if it's gonna be permanent guess we'll see how the test drive goes first. ummm one day i might tell yall where i am but for now i'll keep you guys guessing. i don't know, is it better to imagine an anonymous blogger could be your next door neighbor or is it nicer to have things more grounded in a reality?

3. i told a bunch of people i'm a big homo the last few months. and every time you know what? it was NBD. one instance in particular: st. patrick's day i was out having a few jamesons with some co-residents. two husbands/significant others were there these were guys i had gotten to know well the last few years and were in our circle of guys that we do 'guy things' with. also the guys i most worried about how they'd react because they just seeemed like...guy's guys you know. but fueled by jameson, i made a comment that dropped the news that i like guys and their booze-addled brains took a few moments to process. then it really dawned on them what i had just said, which is always an equal parts entertaining and terrifying moment. but it turned out well. in the process, i found out one of the guys had his own big gay brother back home and his experience with that. something i never knew about his personal life and came as an unexpected surprise that it was closer to him than i thought when all along i was afraid of deep-rooted homophobia in him. in the end, no fucks were given. something that makes me happy and courage to get over myself and be who i am without fear.

4. nothing too new on the guy frontier. i'd like to start seriously dating and see what's out there. after all the confusion and questions i had about who i was, who i wanted to have sex with and who i wanted to fall in love with the last few years, i think i'm figuring it out.

it was my birthday a few weeks ago (i'm a gemini in case you want to know how compatible we are) and i was thinking back to last year on my birthday. M (the guy i was dating at the time) had thrown a party for me at his place, and then later we went to dinner just us two and fell asleep on the couch together after with the national playing. and thinking back on that  it was just nice to have someone to spend the day with who cared about me. i miss that. at this point i'm seeing how you can have everything else going right in life as far as career and comfort etc, but it doesn't mean as much if there's no one there to enjoy it with. and as i get a little older i can see how that's true. i mean it's nice to get facebook birthday posts from that one chick you went to high school with, but at the end of the day you need to have someone in your corner and in your bed for you, and fuck all the superficial bullshit that makes up so much of the day. i'm done being superficial..i'm ready to meet the man who will want to have a deep, meaningful, lifelong relationship with me

5. i'll try to get back on the blogging bandwagon. a lot of the blogs i used to follow have become inactive over the last few months so if there are any new writers out there point me in their direction. anyone know what happened to http://secretsofanallamerican.blogspot.com/? his blog became private so i hope he's doing all right.

ok that's it for now, til next time!.