Monday, June 27, 2011

shout out

giving a shout out to a new blog on the web...i've been emailing this guy through my blog for awhile now and he seems like a real standup guy. he's dealing with some of the same issues about messing with guys and he finally decided to start his own blog to get his thoughts out there. i know he's got a lot of interesting stuff to share and i'm excited to read his future posts. check it out! it helps that his first post is about a hot college hook up hahaha.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

congrats NY

Props to NY. Maybe this will start to turn the tide of public opinion on gay marriage. I'm sure it was crazy in NYC last night. So the states where it's legal are CT, IA, MA, NH, VT, DC, and now NY...weird that there aren't any west coast states on there as those tend to be thought of as more liberal. Also how the hell did Iowa ever approve gay marriage haha.

I don't wanna soapbox too much (don't I do that enough on this blog) but I just don't get opponents of gay marriage!!!!!! They spend all this time money and energy fighting it when the hetero divorce rate is pretty shitty, kids are growing up in single parent households, teen pregnancy keeps rising, and let's not even get started on all the hypocrisy in the Catholic church. It just always makes me laugh when they're like "PROTECT FAMILIES, PROTECT MARRIAGE!" when broken hetero families are all around them! I don't get it.

Anyhoo, let's celebrate this not just as a milestone for gay rights, but as a milestone for equality and civil rights in American history. "We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union..."

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Modern Family

"Nobody wants to think, it's a graduation, a celebration of being done with thinking."

Very appropriate to describe my mindset since graduation. Gotta get back on the horse though 'cuz soon enough I will be officially working and writing orders as a resident MD. Yikes..

So that quote was from Modern Family, one of the few shows I keep up with. I started watching it at the recommendation of some classmates I was on rotation with last year, and while I am not usually an early adopter of a new show, after just one episode I was hooked. It's a very smart, well-written show and they manage to make old sitcom cliches fresh. And of course, it helps that Sofia Vergara is absolutely a stunning and gorgeous woman. If I could bag a woman like her I seriously would never touch a cock (aside from my own) again. Just so incredibly beautiful AND her character has probably become THE funniest character on the show. So that's one good reason to watch. (or two, haha)

The other relevant issue here is the gay couple on the show, both really funny characters. BUT.....while I am shocked and pleasantly surprised that a happy, functional gay couple could be portrayed on network TV, I am a little disappointed that especially in the second season as the character molds are solidfying, they are choosing to make the gay couple Especially given how enormously successful the show has become (I think it's the #1 comedy now?), this is a real opportunity to show America that gay men could pretty much be any guy walking down the street. Unfortunately I feel like for either comedic reasons or otherwise, they are falling back on scripting the gay couple as the stereotype at large in the majority of the know the sassy, hands-on-their-hips, flamer gays. Which is all fine and good, but as their characters become more entrenched in that stereotype, I wonder if their portrayal is really doing much to change the mindset of the unknowing, ignorant viewer whose concept of gay men is exactly that.

I love that the show is breaking ground by showing a normal, loving, human gay relationship (with an adopted kid to boot), but hate that they have to resort to certain stereotypes at the same time. I guess America can only handle so many paradigm shifts at one time. I do think by some of the little jokes they slip in the writers are aware of the limitations they face because of the broad audience they have to appeal to. And anyway it's not up to some stupid TV show to challenge whole perceptions of the public. That comes from their peers, like you and me, to show them how normal, how human it is to be homosexual; unfortunately I just still don't feel ready to be a living example of it.

Anyway check out the show though if you haven't, it's really funny!

Sunday, June 12, 2011


As I suspected, my last post was pretty much incomprehensible and I am sorry for waxing poetic. That's what a blog is for right??? But right now I gotta say congrats to the DALLAS MAVERICKS. I think everyone (with a soul) had to be rooting for the Mavs right? It was really a great series though; I only managed to catch game 5 and game 6 but damn, those were some good basketball games. Anyway I am really happy Dirk finally has a ring and I gotta give props to my new boy JJ BAREA!!! Hahahha man that guy is only 6' but he somehow manages to score some crazy shots. He looks so small on the court compared to those other 7'0 giants, but even 6'0 is pretty huge if you think about it (taller than my ass anyway lol) and he is pretty darn cute so more power to him. Since he is currently dating Miss Universe there is no hope that any guy will ever be sucking his dick but he is still a great ball player and a fun guy to admire so WHOO BOO HEAT! GO MAVS!

Seriously though, I have never really played team sports, so I can only imagine what a crazy feeling it is for someone like Dirk, who's worked like his entire life to win this championship, to finally achieve his goal.  Congrats Mavs fans!

Thursday, June 9, 2011


HOOOOOOLYYYYYYYY CRAPPPPPP I am so behind on  updating!!!! Back from the dead, it's my blog. Between the obligatory end-of-medical-school trip, graduating and getting my MD finally, and moving out of a city I have come to love for 4 years, I have not really had good leisure time to sit with my thoughts and blog. (don't even get me started on all my TV I have to catch up on lol) Anyway I actually have had dozens of topics I want to share with yall, but now I am stuck with the task of choosing what in this post.....

So definitely traveling was awesome. I think just about everyone in my class went on some kind of foreign trip, and while I am sure there were dozens of medical students also traveling where I was, for anonymity's sake I cannot reveal my itinerary. But as I was doing all my crazy traveling, I was constantly struck by how amazing and blessed I am to have had the freedom to travel so extensively at a relatively young age. Just very refreshing and added another layer of perspective to keep me working hard and keep me thankful and happy for what I have in my life. And of course it was extremely nice to disconnect myself from the world for a few weeks----no constantly checking my phone for texts, compulsively refreshing my gmail, or stalking my fb newsfeed for updates. Try it for a day or two, you'll feel liberated! Really goes to show all you need in life are some good friends, good food, cool places, and a decent place to sleep ...............

..........and the cash to pay for it all lol. Even though we traveled on a pretty shoestring budget, I am dreading adding up the final cost of this trip...

Monetary woes aside, although traveling with some of my best friends was a wonderful experience and one I will treasure forever, my mind couldn't help but wander and wonder whether the whole traveling thing wouldn't be better with someone I romantically loved in tow. Lots of questions about relationships ran through my mind....could I ever handle being with just one person the rest of my life? Will I find someone I could ever be thrilled with to spend 24/7 traveling foreign lands? Would they be adventurous enough to try for some public sex acts? I'm not a rule breaker by any means (come on I'm a doctor), but damn I definitely ran across many secluded areas I thought would be perfect for some quickie sex lol. Yes clearly I did not get laid at all during my trip as my sex drive just ramped up every day and soon I was thinking any empty stairwell or alley would be perfect for a blowjob...definitely would be fun to travel and fuck the world right? 

Seriously though, the relationship bug really bit me during the trip, and as I thought about it more, the more I saw myself traveling with another guy and doing all this crazy shit, and not the lady love of my life. Which is weird as I have still not really had a true romantic relationship with a guy...but somewhere I just feel like it would work and be cool. I guess that's pretty much the definition of being gay right? But then I go and see these perfect nuclear families with a great dad, a gorgeous mom and some cute kids in tow on vacation and I'm like, I want that too!!!! So, I'm still torn. But in these past few weeks, I do feel like I'm on the cusp of just saying, "This is it, I am gay and I want to fuck guys for the rest of my life." 

What really is driving me to just figure this out is that in all this traveling, I really got the sense that the world just does not give a fuck about you. Not in a negative, nihilist kind of way, but more in the sense that, the world is such a huge, vast place and every single person in it is just going about their day trying to do what's right for them. So really what you do in your life should be towards making YOU happy and shouldn't be influenced by fear or judgment. At the end of the day, you have to live for yourself....just like the other millions walking the earth who sleep and wake every day with no concept of who you are...These millions and billions that you and I will never know are just working towards making their life better and happier in whatever way they why can't we? What is holding you back from being happy? What is keeping you from saying "Fuck it, I want to be happy, this is how I'm going to do it and I don't care what you think?" 

I'm not sure I'm expressing this as eloquently as I wanted to, plus it's late, but I hope you get my point. (Man this is going to sound horrible when I read this again after I get some sleep.) But the gist what I am trying to say is that our individual place in the world is so small that we shouldn't let our own personal, artificial barriers get in the way of obtaining what little we can get of our own happiness. It's a very afternoon special type message I know, but I guess that profound sense of hope is what happens when you come back from traveling the world.

Alright well I will let that message sink in as I take another month off not to write a new post. jkkkk I will do my best to update soon and regularly, but with intern year coming up and 80-hour work weeks to look forward to, don't hope for too much lol.