a few topics to touch on..i realize my last few posts have been kinda boring/preachy so let me try to excite you guys with stories of my personal life.
the last two weeks i have been dating this guy i met off scruff. i think he may actually been the only successful real life contact i've had from that app. our first date we went out for dinner which went well enough as far as conversation, and we went so far as to migrate to another place for a drink. i was really getting more of a friend vibe from him so i was a little surprised when he went in for the kiss when we were parting ways. well he was a good kisser so we had a few kisses and that was that.
we had a second date a few nights later. we decided to go for a quick dinner then watch 'silver linings playbook'. (side note: bradley cooper is a fucking stud. why were there no gratuitous shirtless scenes of him in that movie?) again, mostly tame throughout the movie, then somewhere about 3/4 in we started holding hands...interesting. we went back to my place after the movie under the pretense of hanging out/having a drink and well...things got busy. just made out for a bit first and the guy was pretty aggressively grinding on me which i thought was pretty hot. in the middle of it though he said he doesn't have sex unless he's dating someone which i said ok that's fine we don't have to have sex. so we continued the pg/pg 13 stuff on the couch for a bit then he suggested moving it to to my bed which i agreed to. interestingly he started peeling off the clothes and given what he said earlier, i asked 'are we gonna get naked?' which he said yes to. so..there was that, we had some fun, and......he slept over. there goes the friend thing.
after that night i thought about what i wanted with this guy. he's very nice, we get along well enough, and obviously i like him physically enough to have some naughty fun. but at this point, i'm really looking for THE ONE. i truly want to find the guy who i'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. and unfortunately with this guy i don't think he has the things i'm looking for in a future husband. maybe a me in the past would just keep hanging out with this guy for the fun, but to be fair to both of us i thought it best that we just be friends.
that was my mindset going into our third 'date'. we met up for a dinner last week in his neighborhood and i had all intentions of explaining to him what i'm looking for and why i didn't think we should keep dating. unfortunately dinner was so pleasant, and we ended up going back to his place to watch some tv, which led to cuddling, which led to the bedroom, which led to us waking up naked together the next morning...you get the picture. easier said than done obviously to break things up.
anyway i'm supposed to meet him tomorrow for happy hour and i have all intentions to really break things off. it's really not fair to him for me to keep this up. i don't even know what he's looking for in a relationship, but my path is set. i hope he still wants to be friends though. i know that's kind of a weird statement since we've already slept together, but i think it can happen.
in other news, is it weird that i find daniel day lewis kinda hot? the characters he plays are creepy but when he's all cleaned up he looks pretty good for an older guy...
Check him out playing a young gay teen in this flick:
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Beautiful_Laundrette
Since it's way before your time, I wonder how you'll critique it.
looked it up and not a fan of his 80s hair but i'll definitely have to watch it someday!
DeleteThanks for the very interesting update. I hope things go smoothly tomorrow. It's definitely a challenge to speak up when there's nothing overtly wrong, but, there's nothing worse than feeling like you were mislead for weeks or months. As awkward as it might be, you're doing the right thing.
ReplyDeleteThe idea of "the one" seems kind of fabricated and archaic to me; if you keep holding out and holding out the idea of someone that might not exist, you might find yourself 50 and alone. Besides, relationships develop - you can't expect to have "the one" from the very first day.
ReplyDeleteI don't really know much about relationships but I think I second what Scott said. If this guy makes you happy then why not continue with him? The idea of finding 'the one' is fairytale like. What specifically do you not like about him, or what 'husband material' qualities is he lacking?
ReplyDeleteHope everything goes well!
i was actually thinking the same thing while watching the Oscars Sunday night haha and glad you are gettin some action. making up for my lack of...
ReplyDeleteSounds like a friend with benefits in the making, if you both are willing to go down that path. Still, if you guys hang out enough (and have naughty fun enough) it could develop into something more, either on his side or yours, so there are risks in continuing along this path if your heart is not open to it. So having the talk to try to make explicit the expectations probably is a good idea.
ReplyDeleteI too think searching for the mythical ONE may not be so easy to spot from the get go. You might look good on paper or when considering superficial things, but a deeper connection requires a number of things to line up -- friendship, companionship, values, interests, station in life, maturity, etc.
I totally hear ya on "the one" thing. I very rarely get far on my dates. Things tend to revert to "just friends" really fast and a lot of times things just fall away. Maybe I'm too picky, or too eclectic, Idk. It's hard finding someone who I feel like I mesh with on almost all levels, and they're usually taken when I do find them. >.< Story of my life . . .
ReplyDeleteI hope all went well!
Good luck on the date!
ReplyDelete