i came out to my closest guy friend in residency last night. i've been meaning to tell him for a few months but with our busy work schedules hadn't had the right opportunity of drinks and alone time away from his wife (not that i don't love his wife but i wanted to make this a one on one thing). anyway after we had gone out with a few other friends and come back to his place there was an opportune lull in the conversation to drop the bomb. turns out he had had a strong suspicion 'cuz a few weekends ago i had conveniently ditched the group because i had to meet up with hook up guy instead and my friend had seen the guy's picture on my phone when i was calling him in my drunken stupor. guess i haven't been doing a good job being discreet about my booty calls.
my friend took it fine as i expected he would. it was just weird, in a good way, to finally have it out in the open. interestingly he and his wife had already speculated i was homo, mostly on the sole reasoning that i haven't been actively slaying bitches throughout residency as they would expect someone like me too if i were a straight-blooded male. i thought that was kind of funny. i guess they (rightly) haven't taken me for someone to be a sexual prude, so they thought it was weird that i've never made mention of any sexual conquests. which i said in response to him, is there no room in this world any more for decency and a hookup free life? i guess not...they had also apparently "tested" me by introducing me to one of their single neighbors, and my lack of interest in this woman also added to their circumstantial evidence, never mind the fact that even if were straight i would have had no interest in this female.
(side note: i've been a fan of "the new normal" and while it plays into a lot of gay stereotypes i think it's still pretty funny. check out this episode regarding "gaydar" and "gay testing". http://www.hulu.com/watch/448320)
anyway we had a nice conversation about me being a fan of dick. as has been some guys' experience with coming out to straight people, he was far more curious about my gay life than i thought he would be. a little more than i was comfortable telling him about to be honest, and this is coming from one of the craziest sexual deviants in the medical world. i guess it is just weird for me to talk about gay stuff with another straight male 'cuz i can't imagine why they would have any interest in our sexual practices. but overall we had a pretty good and interesting conversation and maybe each opened up about personal things we shouldn't have haha.
in all i'm glad it finally happened and most important to me it's not gonna change the dynamic i have with him. one of his college roommates was gay and he has been a dutiful friend in the past and played straight wingman at a few gay bars, but i am politely declining any offers for him to do the same for me now haha. i'm sure his wedding ring would make him a popular target too!
Altho it is scary to do even when you think you will get a good reception, there's a tremendous sense of relief not to have to pretend to be something you are not. Not all straight people will understand that sense of freedom to finally be able to just be yourself. Not defined by your gayness, but to acknowledge that it is part of you and contributes to the person that you are and that people like you because you are an individual, not the gay guy.
ReplyDeleteI too have found similar reaction, that they want to know a lot more details than I would want to share. Maybe guys get turned on more by just sex experiences and are curious?
I hope this encourages you to feel comfortable sharing this to more of your friends and family.
That's awesome man! Happy to hear it went well. The dynamic between you guys will only get better as a result of you being able to be who you are. When I was thinking of coming out to my family I had this idea that everything in my life would change for the worse. I'm glad I was wrong because, everything is better when I'm with my family now. Feels great to free around them.
ReplyDeleteI would write more but I think fan of casey said it best! Best of luck dude, hope everything else is goin well
thats awesome, congrats man
ReplyDeleteNice job! I too keep wondering how curious straight guys (and girls) are about our sex life. And since I'm pretty open about it, they get what they ask for, mostly followed by redded faces of their part realising what they were asking haha
ReplyDeleteCongrats on coming out to your friend! I remember when I used to not be comfortable talking about things like that with my straight male friends, but I thought it was pretty awesome that they were willing to listen, instead of getting weirded out. And now I have no problem sharing info with my close friends.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm also a fan of the new normal. I think it uses the gay sterotypes in a positive way (showing how ridiculous these stereotypes actually are).
Congrats to coming out. Glad it went well. Some people are just too curious, haha. I tend to be one of them . . .
ReplyDeleteI love that show, "The New Normal." Yeah, it has a lot of gay stereotypes - well, stereotypes in general - but that's what makes it funny, and poignant when they show that either it doesn't matter or that it shouldn't be a stereotype.
I wish I had a wingman, I probably really need one, lol.