a few thoughts i'd like to soapbox on..

the colorado shooting is horrible. i'll be interested to see the investigation into his motives. clearly insane, to say the least. (sorry, i'm not a lawyer, the insane that doesn't get you off crimes scotfree.) i know no politician will touch the issue of gun control, but i wish someone would do something about our gun laws. yall into your guns can just shut it because there is no reason that someone should need or legally be able to buy 4 guns in the span of 3 months (reports say he bought all his guns since may). nor should any private citizen have the need to buy a semi-automatic assault rifle for any reason. why is our country so insane that we are OK with gun laws like that? i am a physician and my duty is to protect and safeguard the sanctity of life. and yet any crumbum can go out and purchase these tools of death and ignorantly destroy lives in a matter of seconds. it's senseless. yes this guy was a psychopath and if he really wanted to mass murder he would have found other ways to do it but i just don't get this country's obsession with guns. some say the media just doesn't report the incidences when guns used in self-defense deter a would-be crime, but i'm sure there are just as many accidental shootings...for example google the news story of the cop who shot and killed his own son because he thought his son was an intruder. if i needed a story to inspire less confidence in the average citizen having ownership of a lethal weapon.

my other thought was on God. capital G God. watching the news reports of survivors and such talking about God, and even a blog post written by a mother who was in the attack (HERE) actually nullified my belief in a god, much less a merciful god. i best describe my religious views as agnostic and i've always had a vague belief in God...maybe...kind of waiting to find my moment with God to make me a true believer to put it in the best terms to those who ask. i admire those with faith and who find strength in their faith especially in tragedies such as this. but for me, even with all the horrific tragedies going on around the world that would make any sane person question a higher power, this particular incident really just stamped any faith in me of any sort of sense or being looking out for our greater good. not that i don't want to believe in a higher power. i would like more than anything to have faith, faith in anything, but at this point in my life it just hasn't happened for me...and certainly i don't see how incidents like this inspire even greater faith in people.

also i wonder why is it ok for God-loving folk to foist their beliefs on others. i have quite a few devoted people who like to post about their faith on facebook (which is where i got linked to that blog post). i don't have a problem with it, but it is interesting that it is socially acceptable for them to post about God and things like that in a rather public forum. whereas for example if i were to post something like this or you know, not in general give props to God that probably wouldn't be looked on fondly. maybe i just need to be friends with more heathens...

a quote from the movie "Blood Diamond" has always stuck with me. "Sometimes I wonder, will God ever forgive us for what we've done to each other? Then I look around and I realize...God left this place a long time ago."

so that's a sampling of my thoughts on God and religion. this is not to mention all the religious crap loaded against gays...

anyhoo, enough serious stuff. i signed up for match.com last week after deciding what the hell, and also since another blogger seems to have found a great guy off it. no luck yet but i'll give it a shot. i am determined to find a boyfriend this year!! i was kinda bummed cuz i had signed on about a week before i signed up for real and there were some emails waiting i wasn't privy to yet. you need to be a full member to see emails but i wasn't ready to take the plunge. then when i finally did sign up i guess the emails had expired cuz they were gone! what if one had been from my match soul mate? stupid universe.