I saw an 80 something year old lady in my clinic this week. I've seen her a lot over my residency and gotten to know her pretty well. She always comes in with these vague complaints and I'm never really sure I've actually helped her when she leaves. She always comes back though so I guess I'm doing something she likes. This week's visit was no different, another perplexing complaint that in an old person, you have to take seriously. So we are talking about our plan to work up her complaint she says to me in her cute little 80 year old voice "OK doctor I trust you completely".
I was taken aback by that. What a weird thing to say. It was all at once something so vulnerable and so meaningful. I don't think I could say that to anyone in my life right now. Maybe my mom. Her words have really stuck with me. I think it would mean more to hear that from someone than even "I love you". god knows you can love someone but not have any, much less complete trust in them. More than anything I want to find a man I could say the same thing to and mean every word, and be that someone to him to trust in return.
"I trust you completely."
It's a sign of the high esteem doctors are held by the general public and society and for the most part, well deserved. Like every profession that relies on cultivating reputation and respect, earned over many years of good works, there's much social standing given to you -- but also there's a lot of expectations and responsibility. Obviously some doctors may be technically more skilled than others, the best doctors are the ones that care and have the bedside manner to connect with patients.
ReplyDeleteAs for you finding someone to trust completely, it certainly could happen. At the same time you have to be confident and vulnerable for trust to thrive.
actually a big gripe in our community is the respect we AREN'T getting from patients. i think it's really just a greater symptom of both patient and physician dissatisfaction with our system though.
Deleteyou have the makings of a good physician. try not to forget this lady. she trusted you because you earned her trust and she felt something in you that told her her trust was not misplaced. You may not recognize yet just how important that is to a patient...especially a LOL who is probably used to having her complaints dismissed because, as you say, the vague complaints of the elderly can point in so many directions most physicians give up and humor them without doing more than cookie cutter medicine.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who is dying far too young. One of his greatest comforts is a physician he trusts. He's only found ONE among the many on his team who seems to care about doing it right and not paying perfunctory attention because, after all, they're really not going to "cure" him and if he's lucky his life will be measured in months if not weeks. Don't think the patients don't pick up on that attitude right away. By "hearing" her, you give her a great gift.
Lovers come and go. Some betray our trust and others we betray. Seldom do does that kind of misplaced trust result in life and death issues. By hearing this lady and trying to do your best, you may be giving her years (or even weeks) to spend with her loved ones and end her life on a peaceful note. I can't think of a greater gift one person can give to another. Can you?
thank you for your kind note! it's hard to remember what it's like to be on the patient end of things sometimes.
DeleteI've found that those small positive things help keep us afloat in medicine. Without them, the negativity would consume and obliterate us.
ReplyDeleteConfirms that you are a great guy and you care greatly for your patients.
ReplyDeletePNW Dude: Nice to know you are still around, how are you doing with your relationship?
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