i received my test results today. negative for gonorrhea and chlamydia (GC and CT). WTH??? i don't know what to make of these results. i thought for sure i'd have something. to make matters worse i'm still having a little bit of symptoms so i don't think i've been treated completely.

i'm not sure whether to believe the GC/CT tests. the urine sample i gave was a midstream sample when it's supposed to be a first-void sample. i was pretty sure the urine for GC/CT had to be first-void (meaning the urine when you first start peeing) versus midstream (taken when you've peed out a little) but i asked the nurse and she was like, "oh give a midstream sample!" so i did. i don't know how much that affects the test results but when you get results you don't believe you look for any little thing. i did a literature search on first void versus midstream and it shouldn't make that much of a difference but i'm still doubtful. yes being this anal about how a urine sample is collected is why i'm a doctor.

ideally i wish i could have just done a urethral swab and gram stain on myself and just made a definitive diagnosis. i was even thinking last week, how hard would it be to get into the hospital lab and set up my own slide without raising any eyebrows. but then i remembered i would have no idea how to set up a gram stain anymore so that option was out. nerd science talk out of the way, i'm not sure what to do next. my options:

1. be re-seen by a healthcare provider and do whatever they want, then quietly dictate what care i actually want. (by the way we hate patients who do this)
2. treat myself with a cocktail of antibiotics.
3. be seen by the public STD clinic.
4. ignore things for a few days then decide what to do.

4 is very tempting (well they all are), but realistically i'll probably do 3...and maybe still politely suggest they do all the things i want them to do if they don't suggest it themselves. i'm just hoping there's not something more serious or weird going on. i'm actually wondering whether i got the urethritis from rimming/oral interchange but as you might imagine it's hard to find good data on that.

on a side note, i wonder how my care would have been if i didn't mention that i was a doctor. i was seen by a PA and she picked up fast that i knew a little healthcare lingo and we both knew why i was there. after she said she'd run the urine tests that was the last i saw of her though and some nurse came in to give me my butt shot and my discharge papers. i was a little disturbed because 1, the nurse forgot to mention that i had a prescription for the pills i needed to take and 2, the prescription technically wasn't written correctly and i got no instruction otherwise.

the treatment for gonorrhea is ceftriaxone 250mg IM (intramuscular..aka the butt) and azithromycin 1000mg by mouth in one dose. the azithromycin is for added activity against gonorrhea (but is not sufficient treatment alone for gonorrhea) and also for presumed co-treatment of chlamydia. (since they frequently run together) anyway the script for the azithromycin was just written out as a standard z-pak, so if i was a regular person i would have gotten the pills and taken it the wrong way and still potentially be infected. that's just bad healthcare. i'm giving the PA that saw me the benefit of the doubt that she did things that way 'cuz she knew i would know what to do and otherwise would have explained things out to me if i was just some regular slut off the street, but who knows.

the point is, make sure you know what your doc is trying to do to you and always ask questions if you don't know what the hell is going on. yes we hate when patients ask questions but you guys deserve at least a few answers.

anyway i'll keep yall updated...hope this is all not TMI, but better to live vicariously through me than experience it yourself.