another month, another post..

so it's a beautiful sunday but i'm feeling a bit of the loneliness blues. as another update for you guys i haven't seen my cuddle guy for 2 weeks now. long story short i had his keys to check on his house and a few nights later i texted him to see where he was at. he said he was out so later i thought i would be cute and swing by his place to surprise him when he got back. well as you could imagine from that set up, i found him cuddled up on the couch with another guy. apparently this was a good friend of his from out-of-town, but i dunno how many of you cuddle up naked on the couch with your best friends.

anyway i haven't seen him since. he texted me a few times after that and i actually agreed to meet up with him at least one more time. our schedules haven't worked out so that we could meet up, but yes i'm a softie what can i say. it's not like i've been mr. pure and faithful to him myself. hence the weird part about our relationship. open but not so open. regardless, i think it would be best for us both to move on, so walking in on him was probably the best thing to happen. now i have an excuse to cut him loose and we can both find new guys to have fucked up relationships with. besides the lack of sexual chemistry i've written about, there are just other factors that i won't talk about here that don't make this an ideal relationship. while it's nice to have someone to cuddle with and all that, this pseudo-relationship is just no good really.

since then i've just been living the same ol' routine. work, home, sleep, repeat. out on the weekends to partake in the meat market and realizing how sick i am of it. (not that i don't like admiring the hot guys out there, but i'm usually going out to the straight bars anyway.) i'm seriously not this crumudgeony in real life, but i really wonder if all these 20,30 somethings truly enjoy doing this whole mating thing out in the bar scene every weekend. i personally find it a little tiresome to hear the same stupid journey song every night and pay 10 bucks for a crappy drink, but that's just me. maybe i wouldn't be so bitter if i was taking someone home to fuck at the end of the night.

then there's the whole online thing which i think everyone has their opinion on. i float somewhere in between. not trying to judge people's goals online as myself i don't mind an occasional hot hookup but attempts to find worthwhile dating have also been fruitless. is there some sort of strategy i haven't picked up on to meet either nice normal guys or nice slutty guys online? i'm striking out on all counts.

thus here i am in bed on a sunday blogging about my loneliness blues. i think most of us would agree our only real goal is to find someone to be happy with. unfortunately all those factors to find the right person to be happy with are just so darn nebulous and elusive...but if anyone has any tips on how to meet normal genuine guys please share. the holidays are otherwise a perfect time to wallow in misery.

(speaking of which despite yall's advice i caved and put up my xmas stuff a weekend early. but only cuz i had to work post-tday weekend so i had to do it when i had the chance! luckily no one came by my place pre-T-day to judge me...)