what's up dudes..
Been awhile since my last post. Sorry about that. I was on a busy service this month and blogging was the last thing on my mind. I'm going onto an easier rotation next month though so I hope to have more free time and all that. I'm settling into this doctor thing pretty nicely. Even though I'm working a lot, I love what I'm doing so I'm not dreading going into work every day. I mean, I'd rather be sleeping in til 1pm and sitting on my ass all day, but it's not bad. I still basically feel like a medical student who gets paid. It's still super weird to see my name on official hospital documentation or call myself Dr. ______, but I'm getting used to it. I was just answering pages and stuff with my first name the first month, but then someone told me I need to start being legit and using my full title so there goes my modesty and my ascent into asshole-dom lol.

Anyway, I'm still seeing the guy I wrote about in my last post. We get together a few times per week as my schedule permits. It's been alright. I'm still not crazy about the sex with him. Also the other night I had to use his phone and it was open to his texts. I got a peek and it looked like he's still been texting other guys and maybe even meeting up with them? I didn't dig too deep as I try not to be a crazy stalker psycho but it was there. I haven't said anything to him and I'm still not even sure how I feel. We never said we'd be exclusive and honestly I've had a few hook-ups this month outside him too, so it'd be hypocritical of me to judge him for messing around. But I'm still not exactly happy about what I found. At least he could suggest a 3some lol.

That's the weird thing about gay relationships, at least the ones I've mucked around in so far. The concept of fidelity is just so vague and it's always fuck first, talk later. So, normal relationship boundaries are all sorts of fucked up from the get go. For once I'd like to just hang out with a guy for a bit before we started boning, really build up that sexual tension you know, and then mutually agree not to fuck around while we're fucking around. I guess the way I've pursued guys so far that kind of situation is not likely to arise. Where are the nice guy-next-door types looking to date? Anyway with this guy I think I might just start tapering things off with him and/or completely cut him loose. I probably need to buckle down and focus more on my job anyway, rather than think about sex 24/7!