relationships

one thing that has me hesitant to throw myself all in to the homo boat is whether or not i could have a real, meaningful relationship with another guy. i know sexuality is supposed to be a spectrum, and while i have had my fair share of man-on-man sex, i don't know if i could ever emotionally commit to another man. i've definitely had hookup buddies/friends with benefits whom i've liked and enjoyed spending time with, but could i ever get into a full-on relationship? i'm not sure. i just don't even know what that situation would be like. at least the way i've had my encounters with gay sex, it's always been kinda the 'get naked first, ask questions later' situation and the whole traditional getting to know you thing has gone out the window. and what does being in a relationship with another guy entail? the whole notion just seems very foreign to me, even though it obviously wouldn't be much different than any other normal committed relationship. there's always that joke about straight guys having bromances, so i guess it wouldn't be much different than that, except for what happens in the bedroom  haha.

the more i think about it, the more i'm definitely intrigued by the possibility. i've always been more of a gestalt kind of guy, and i think if i met a guy and really liked him, and he also wanted to pursue a relationship, i think i would be open to it. hopefully that would be someone in the same situation as me who would be charting similar uncharted waters. as much as i admire openly gay men for being out and confident and all that instead of dealing with all the fucked up issues of us closet cases, a relationship with an openly gay guy would probably be the equivalent of a may-december romance in terms of maturity.

anyway i doubt i'm going to be finding any eligible men, so i guess i'm just putting the idea out there to myself. some guys in the past, i probably was holding back any real emotions i may have had and was just kinda riding it for the physical part, but at heart i am really a relationship kind of guy. and it sure as hell is nice to sleep next to someone at night!!!!

edit: just caught up on some other blogs i follow. coincidentally this guy explored the same concept in one of his posts. link here some of the user comments seem pretty harsh! at least from my perspective. just more food for thought that just makes me not want to confront the issue period...i'm such a wimp.