Seems like there's been a few new bloggers lately, but thought I'd give a shout out to another one. If you like mine and you're into the whole closeted medical professional thing, there's a 1st year medical student who just started writing.

http://closetmed.blogspot.com/

You can watch his transition from being a bright-eyed optimistic medical student into a grumpy old resident like me. For me it'll be kinda fun to see him go through med school and reminisce on my own bygone times as a student, and just feel like an old creep in general. First year feels like forever ago now, and although it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I definitely wouldn't want to relive it lol. At some point I need to share my second year experiences when I first started sleeping with men and invested more time in looking for my next hookup like a sex-addled congressman over studying. Probably would have done a lot better in school....

(don't worry I'm a good doctor I swear)

I caught up on the "Modern Family" premiere tonight. Still funny as usual, but as I was watching it I was thinking, 'that Tyler Ferguson' is pretty cute.' He's got a lot of things I like..blue eyes, cute beard, that ginger red hair, homo in real life, and overall not bad to look at. (btw in my limited experience with red heads, I've found they all have pretty big cocks..can anybody corroborate this observation with me?) Anyway you'd think he'd have all the makings to be a new found TV crush, but the only thing that would really seal the deal for me is if he had a deeper, sexier voice.

For some reason I have always been very tuned in to peoples' voices. Not that I have perfect pitch or anything, but I think you can tell a lot about a person by the way they speak, and the tone and pitch of someone's voice is almost as important as their physical appearance. Considering most of the way you connect with someone is by talking to them, I think it makes sense that the way they play on your ears is a big part of how you perceive them overall. Isn't there that joke that all the women who work for those phone sex lines are all actually fat? For me, a deep masculine voice just really sets me off. It just kinda makes you turn your head and want to pay attention to them. Don't even get me started on how much certain accents add (or detract) to the sex appeal. So although Mr. Tyler Ferguson is an attractive man, he would be so much hotter if this deep gravelly voice came out of him when he opened his mouth. Anyone else out there have this 'voice fetish'?

Off the top of my head, an example of a voice I find really sexy is Michael Symon. I didn't even know who the fuck he was when I first flipped to him on TV, but I heard him talk and I was like 'damn who is that I must find out'. He does various shows on Food Network. clip of him: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KV2JFpfeLp0&feature=related

Incidentally, I hate the sound of my voice. I try to avoid hearing it back at all costs, which is unfortunate because I have to hear it quite a bit now when I am dictating notes at the hospital and have to rewind to listen to something.

fuck the gym

The first week I moved to the city I'm working, I went out and bought one of those door pull-up things. I had one in medical school which I used (occasionally) but gave it away when I moved out. Since starting residency, that pull-up thing has been in its box in my closet. Just two weeks ago I got motivated enough to take it out of the box, but couldn't be bothered to assemble it so it's been in pieces in my living room. At this rate I think I'll have it assembled by Halloween and will actually be using it by new year's. My apt complex has a little gym which I have not even willed myself to check out yet...frick.

I just can't get myself motivated to work out. Sure I WANT to look like the guys on fitness magazines, but hell if I want to put in the WORK to get my body looking like that. This is the world of convenience and easy fixes..where is my easy fix for a ripped beach bod. I would use the excuse that residency is too time-consuming, but I know colleagues who dutifully go to the gym. Me, I'd rather get an extra hour of sleep or go to happy hour. Luckily I've got a pretty good metabolism so all the hospital food and beer I drink hasn't caught up to me, but I'm waiting for the day when my body gives up and says "Nope, here is the beer belly and fat ass body you've deserved all these years." Unfortunately I didn't also get blessed with the genetics like those guys who have the naturally ripped bodies without ever going to the gym. (you know who you are)

One of these days I'll stop wishing for a hot body and just get my ass in the gym to work for it. But as I am currently in bed writing this blog, not happening anytime soon. How do yall stay motivated to go to the gym???

haha looking for an eye candy pic and came across this. Even freaking congressmen have time to work out!

bad medical advice

Just thought I'd address a reader question for everyone's info. Here's the q:

"Hey madman, have a medical related question, saw a scary article about the high incidence of throat cancer among gay men, thought to be from herpes exposure. Thinking about getting the hpv vaccine, it's three injections at $180 a pop. Thoughts??"

First let me preface by saying my medical advice does not take the place of a real discussion with your primary care doc. For all you guys know I am just some creep in a basement making all this shit up, so take anything medical you read from me (or any other site) with a grain of salt. And anyway even though I promise I'm for real, I'm still just a stupid intern fresh outta med school. But here goes..

I've not heard anything about throat cancer and the herpes simplex virus. (the kind of herpes that everyones goes ewwww about). You may be having this confused with HPV, the human papilloma virus. There's a few types of this virus and they most commonly cause genital warts (ew). Other strains are strongly implicated in the development of cervical cancer in women. That's why there's now the vaccine for women against the most common virus strains of HPV to hopefully prevent the development of cervical cancer (and also those unsightly genital warts). But besides cervical cancer, HPV is also implicated in anal cancer, and in my 5 minute google research, some cases of throat cancer. Theoretically then, men getting the vaccine would be protected from HPV and the risk of getting these kind of cancers. This is assuming you get the vaccine before you ever get infected with HPV, as once you get it it's kind of with you forever. (that's why there was the push to have girls get it before they become sexually active)

So cancer is pretty scary. Is getting anal or throat cancer from HPV something you should be afraid of? Probably not. The wiki on anal cancer says there were 5300 new cases in 2009. The wiki for esophageal cancer (throat cancer) says there were 15000 new cases of esophageal cancer. Those are really small numbers. Add to the fact that only a small percentage of these cases were probably due to HPV. Rather than running out to get the HPV vaccine to ward off this small risk of cancer, you'd probably be better off doing something else for your health like cutting a few pounds or stopping smoking, as things like heart disease, obesity, and tobacco are the things that really get people sick in America.

It's always smart to practice safe sex and limit the number of sexual partners you have, but hey we all like to have our fun. Rather than get all paranoid that every blow job you give is getting you one step closer to cancer, just try to be a little smart and know who you're blowing. But for god's sakes do wear a condom when you're fucking. HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis are all still very real STDs you can get. Even the most normal looking guys can be one of those crazy closet bareback cum sluts so don't trust anyone when they say they're clean. Just wrap the damn dick. Not worth it!

what's up dudes..
Been awhile since my last post. Sorry about that. I was on a busy service this month and blogging was the last thing on my mind. I'm going onto an easier rotation next month though so I hope to have more free time and all that. I'm settling into this doctor thing pretty nicely. Even though I'm working a lot, I love what I'm doing so I'm not dreading going into work every day. I mean, I'd rather be sleeping in til 1pm and sitting on my ass all day, but it's not bad. I still basically feel like a medical student who gets paid. It's still super weird to see my name on official hospital documentation or call myself Dr. ______, but I'm getting used to it. I was just answering pages and stuff with my first name the first month, but then someone told me I need to start being legit and using my full title so there goes my modesty and my ascent into asshole-dom lol.

Anyway, I'm still seeing the guy I wrote about in my last post. We get together a few times per week as my schedule permits. It's been alright. I'm still not crazy about the sex with him. Also the other night I had to use his phone and it was open to his texts. I got a peek and it looked like he's still been texting other guys and maybe even meeting up with them? I didn't dig too deep as I try not to be a crazy stalker psycho but it was there. I haven't said anything to him and I'm still not even sure how I feel. We never said we'd be exclusive and honestly I've had a few hook-ups this month outside him too, so it'd be hypocritical of me to judge him for messing around. But I'm still not exactly happy about what I found. At least he could suggest a 3some lol.

That's the weird thing about gay relationships, at least the ones I've mucked around in so far. The concept of fidelity is just so vague and it's always fuck first, talk later. So, normal relationship boundaries are all sorts of fucked up from the get go. For once I'd like to just hang out with a guy for a bit before we started boning, really build up that sexual tension you know, and then mutually agree not to fuck around while we're fucking around. I guess the way I've pursued guys so far that kind of situation is not likely to arise. Where are the nice guy-next-door types looking to date? Anyway with this guy I think I might just start tapering things off with him and/or completely cut him loose. I probably need to buckle down and focus more on my job anyway, rather than think about sex 24/7!

just not that into him

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Pretty much every field of medicine boils down to whether:

1. will this keep the patient alive

2. will this improve their quality of life

3. will this change management or treatment plans

Despite these maxims, you would be surprised how many OCD people there are in medicine who freak out about every little detail. Obviously if you're the patient, you would want a doctor who micro-manages every last thing and knows everything about you, but when you are on the other side as a colleague working in a team setting, all those TYPE A personalities just means there will be a clashing of heads and inevitable conflict. It's often a case of "too many chefs in the kitchen" or worse "blindly follow the leader". It's actually scary how hierarchical the practice of medicine is (at least on the teaching hospital level). There's a very clear chain of command in decision-making, and you try your best not to rock the boat lest you draw unwanted attention to yourself (especially if you're the intern aka the bottom feeder) . I would almost dare to call it nazi-like. It's definitely very military-like.

Anyway, for the most part I know to just go with the flow, but even my easy-going nature can transform into the hidden hyper-competitive aggressive beast lurking beneath. I am just not into being bullied by others. I grew up in a rather anal-retentive family so I kinda turned into the opposite demeanor 'cuz I saw how useless it was to be super anxious and obsessive about details that really don't matter in the long term. Unfortunately a lot of my colleagues have not quite reached that nirvana. It drives me crazy sometimes! Don't get me wrong I am still pretty OCD but I at least have enough faith in my colleagues that they won't make a decision that will kill the patient. (PS it is very hard to kill a patient..you have to really fuck up to do that) Of course the number one maxim in medicine is

TRUST NO ONE. 

It's a strange paradox I work in....