hey guys
i thought i'd try something new and i'm gonna host a live chat next week. i'll have some questions that i've thought of reading the velvet rage book to get the chat going and we'll just see how it goes from there.
chat time will be THURSDAY FEBRUARY 6TH 9.30PM EASTERN TIME. i figured that would be the best time to not be too late for east coast and too early for west coast.
i'm looking for options on how to set up a free chatroom that will be easy for users to jump in. i've found a few sites that let you set up a chat room pretty easily but i dunno if i can keep the room going that long in advance. so i will plan to post the final link to the chat room on thursday at least about an hour or so before go time if not earlier. expect technical problems though haha. hope to see a few of yall there!
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Thursday, January 23, 2014
i'm addicted to reading internet comments following news articles. most of them are stupid, nasty, or irrelevant, but i like the opportunity to peer into the minds of people reading the same stuff as me. several months ago i read one user comment that recommended that every gay man read The Velvet Rage. there was no explanation why, but i figured hey, i'm gay too, and i put it on my note list.
flash forward to january 2014. i'm trying to clean up my list of things to do and here is this random book, the full title of which is The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World. i look it up on amazon and check out the intro which is available to preview. ok, sounds like typical melodramatic gay sexuality stuff until the author writes:
"Very few of us feel the shame, but almost all of us struggle with the private belief that 'if you really knew the whole, unvarnished truth about me, you would know that I am unlovable.'"
yikes. bingo, that's me. time to order this book.
the book arrives last night. i read the first 30 pages and nothing too strongly connects. yes some of it perhaps fits for me the way a pisces' horoscope fits me on any given day. (i'm a gemini) the author starts by writing in broad generalizations about the experience of "growing up gay", which honestly some of the strokes i felt were borderline offensive and i'm less convinced this is going to be a worthwhile read.
tonight though i got to the meat of the book. (fortunately it's an easy read) here i realized the author in his experience treating gay men in various stages of life and coming out is on to something. i haven't finished the book, but many of the stories and points the author makes reflects a lot of what i have read from other bloggers and experienced with the different men in my life.
bottom line is, i think that whatever you identify yourself as, if you are a man and have ever found yourself romantically or sexually interested in another man, you should read this book. something will hit home for you. i haven't read the entire thing to determine whether this will be radically life-changing, but hey why not.
i've included pictures of the first few pages of the chapter that really started to make sense to me. i didn't post the entire chapter but this will give you a taste for what this book is about. apologies if this is some sort of copyright infringement, but i wanted to get this out there for some men who might be too afraid to seek this out on their own. tell me what you think.
flash forward to january 2014. i'm trying to clean up my list of things to do and here is this random book, the full title of which is The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World. i look it up on amazon and check out the intro which is available to preview. ok, sounds like typical melodramatic gay sexuality stuff until the author writes:
"Very few of us feel the shame, but almost all of us struggle with the private belief that 'if you really knew the whole, unvarnished truth about me, you would know that I am unlovable.'"
yikes. bingo, that's me. time to order this book.
the book arrives last night. i read the first 30 pages and nothing too strongly connects. yes some of it perhaps fits for me the way a pisces' horoscope fits me on any given day. (i'm a gemini) the author starts by writing in broad generalizations about the experience of "growing up gay", which honestly some of the strokes i felt were borderline offensive and i'm less convinced this is going to be a worthwhile read.
tonight though i got to the meat of the book. (fortunately it's an easy read) here i realized the author in his experience treating gay men in various stages of life and coming out is on to something. i haven't finished the book, but many of the stories and points the author makes reflects a lot of what i have read from other bloggers and experienced with the different men in my life.
bottom line is, i think that whatever you identify yourself as, if you are a man and have ever found yourself romantically or sexually interested in another man, you should read this book. something will hit home for you. i haven't read the entire thing to determine whether this will be radically life-changing, but hey why not.
i've included pictures of the first few pages of the chapter that really started to make sense to me. i didn't post the entire chapter but this will give you a taste for what this book is about. apologies if this is some sort of copyright infringement, but i wanted to get this out there for some men who might be too afraid to seek this out on their own. tell me what you think.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
i am a serial grindr checker. not that i have much going on on that app or any similar app, but i love the thrill of checking out who's on when i'm in different areas and even if i'm at home hoping that some fresh meat will stumble into my range and start something up. most of the time though i'm just admiring the slew of hard pecs and 6-pack abs that are on there. occasionally there will be a guy that really catches my attention though and even better he'll have a link to his social media.
i was being my usual creeper self and stalking one such hot guy who linked up to his instagram which in turn was linked up to his facebook. now i don't know if i'm the only person to whom this has happened, but following this guy turned into a rabbit hole of checking out countless more hot, hard-bodied gay men whose cocks i would have in my mouth in an instant if i could.
this brought up a few points to me: 1. why is it that hot guys are always friends with other hot guys but 2. after looking through this initial guy's pictures, i deduced that he was in a relationship with a guy not unlike myself. they had several cute pictures together doing various couple-type things and on quite a few vacations. and this guy, whom i was clearly diligently digitally stalking at this point, was definitely my type in every way.
which led me to wonder, why the heck was i not the boyfriend he was posing with in selfies? knowing nothing about this guy other than i would love to jump in bed with him, i still felt a strange mix of envy and anxiety and sadness. here was this hot guy with his hot boyfriend living what looks to be a fabulous life. and both of whom could be my peers as far as age, and here i am at home being a slob in front of the tv watching amy poehler and tina fey on the golden globes drooling over these guys i'll never meet. good lord what a sad existence!
maybe these are emotions single people usually feel when they have time to think and fester and be lonely, but honestly i'm usually so busy i'm not thinking about that. but at the end of the day, i am pretty domestic and despite my previous high-slutting ways, i'd love nothing more than to settle down with one man and make him happy.
the interesting thing about having this blog is getting to realize there are a whole bunch of normal guys out there who happen to like guys too. but lacking venues to really meet similar men in real life, we resort to these online sites and apps where each guy is a disposable trading card to the next. real chemistry though, much harder to find.
i was being my usual creeper self and stalking one such hot guy who linked up to his instagram which in turn was linked up to his facebook. now i don't know if i'm the only person to whom this has happened, but following this guy turned into a rabbit hole of checking out countless more hot, hard-bodied gay men whose cocks i would have in my mouth in an instant if i could.
this brought up a few points to me: 1. why is it that hot guys are always friends with other hot guys but 2. after looking through this initial guy's pictures, i deduced that he was in a relationship with a guy not unlike myself. they had several cute pictures together doing various couple-type things and on quite a few vacations. and this guy, whom i was clearly diligently digitally stalking at this point, was definitely my type in every way.
which led me to wonder, why the heck was i not the boyfriend he was posing with in selfies? knowing nothing about this guy other than i would love to jump in bed with him, i still felt a strange mix of envy and anxiety and sadness. here was this hot guy with his hot boyfriend living what looks to be a fabulous life. and both of whom could be my peers as far as age, and here i am at home being a slob in front of the tv watching amy poehler and tina fey on the golden globes drooling over these guys i'll never meet. good lord what a sad existence!
maybe these are emotions single people usually feel when they have time to think and fester and be lonely, but honestly i'm usually so busy i'm not thinking about that. but at the end of the day, i am pretty domestic and despite my previous high-slutting ways, i'd love nothing more than to settle down with one man and make him happy.
the interesting thing about having this blog is getting to realize there are a whole bunch of normal guys out there who happen to like guys too. but lacking venues to really meet similar men in real life, we resort to these online sites and apps where each guy is a disposable trading card to the next. real chemistry though, much harder to find.
Friday, December 20, 2013
when i saw that the "duck dynasty" guy had been fired from his show, i cringed. i knew it would set off an unnecessary firestorm about gays and give anti-homos more fuel to rally behind. A&E can do whatever the hell they want with their stars, but i don't think it is doing the "gay agenda" any favors to have him suspended. far better would it have been for them to make a statement saying they don't support his views and then maybe have an episode next season or something where this family meets some 'normal' homos and have a dialogue about that. now it's just gonna be a cluster on the media cycle for the next few days and neither side will have changed their views on anything.
i often wonder what patients would think if they knew about my private life. we as doctors get to know so much about a patient's personal life, yet it's a real one-way street. would it really matter to you what you knew about your doctor's personal life? it shouldn't, but i've always been interested to know if any of my patients would treat or interact with me any differently if they knew that what i was looking forward to after work is sucking a big fat dick. the patient/doctor relationship is really complex and so many subtle things can change the interaction dramatically, so would my sexuality be one of those things? i usually get along pretty well with my patients, so i wonder what a little randomized trial of patients knowing my preference vs. not knowing would have on their overall opinion after their evaluation. and if they were really critically ill and there were no one else around, would they consent to be treated by me? i bet there are some people out there who would rather die than be treated by a homo. but what about the opposite, what if a gay-hater had their life saved and then at the end found out it was because a gay doc had helped them? would their whole world be turned upside down? who knows.
it is interesting that while i could face discrimination from my patients, i could never do the same in reverse. can you imagine the shitstorm that would happen if some doctor refused to treat a woman, a christian, an anti-semitic, a racist, a prostitute, a drunk, a homeless, a lesbian, a morbidly obese, or whatever? we no matter what are supposed to be a neutral party and every patient that walks in we treat the same regardless of what their personal life or views are like. and really shouldn't that be the way it is for everyone?
i often wonder what patients would think if they knew about my private life. we as doctors get to know so much about a patient's personal life, yet it's a real one-way street. would it really matter to you what you knew about your doctor's personal life? it shouldn't, but i've always been interested to know if any of my patients would treat or interact with me any differently if they knew that what i was looking forward to after work is sucking a big fat dick. the patient/doctor relationship is really complex and so many subtle things can change the interaction dramatically, so would my sexuality be one of those things? i usually get along pretty well with my patients, so i wonder what a little randomized trial of patients knowing my preference vs. not knowing would have on their overall opinion after their evaluation. and if they were really critically ill and there were no one else around, would they consent to be treated by me? i bet there are some people out there who would rather die than be treated by a homo. but what about the opposite, what if a gay-hater had their life saved and then at the end found out it was because a gay doc had helped them? would their whole world be turned upside down? who knows.
it is interesting that while i could face discrimination from my patients, i could never do the same in reverse. can you imagine the shitstorm that would happen if some doctor refused to treat a woman, a christian, an anti-semitic, a racist, a prostitute, a drunk, a homeless, a lesbian, a morbidly obese, or whatever? we no matter what are supposed to be a neutral party and every patient that walks in we treat the same regardless of what their personal life or views are like. and really shouldn't that be the way it is for everyone?
Monday, December 16, 2013
happy holidays! hope yall are staying warm out there. i decided last week i should probably try to get in shape. i had been working on my beach muscles earlier in the year then got derailed with working nights and the breakup etc, and basically haven't been doing anything for a few months. but i've been getting these really weird twinges of chest pain and whenever an attending makes us take the stairs i'm like winded after two flights. also kind of worrisome is that after a night of moderate to heavy drinking i have these really bad palpitations in the early morning. clearly i've been neglecting my cardiovascular health. i've always been decently athletic but i realized now i'm at that age where i really can't just wake up out of bed and expect to be ready to run a 10k. (i'm in my late 20s)
anyway i'm gonna try to get a jump start on new years and get back on the gym thing. not so much the muscles thing, but focus more on my cardiac health cuz that's what gets everyone later on. i ran on a treadmill for the first time in god knows how long last thursday and ran 2 miles in like 24 minutes and wanted to die the whole time. i asked my co-resident who is a fitness freak if it's supposed to get easier and she's like, "no but you get high". haha so there's her motivation. i'm always telling patients to eat healthier and exercise a few times a week so i guess it's time i practice what i preach. running is seriously miserable though. i ran again today and at least it was a little easier. everyone's always wishing for things they don't have but not willing to put in the hard work for it, (me included) but i'm gonna start trying to put in the work for a healthier body and healthier heart.
alright thought i'd close with some winter-themed pics. most i got from http://guysinlongjohns.tumblr.com/ hope you have someone to enjoy this cuddle weather with!
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anyway i'm gonna try to get a jump start on new years and get back on the gym thing. not so much the muscles thing, but focus more on my cardiac health cuz that's what gets everyone later on. i ran on a treadmill for the first time in god knows how long last thursday and ran 2 miles in like 24 minutes and wanted to die the whole time. i asked my co-resident who is a fitness freak if it's supposed to get easier and she's like, "no but you get high". haha so there's her motivation. i'm always telling patients to eat healthier and exercise a few times a week so i guess it's time i practice what i preach. running is seriously miserable though. i ran again today and at least it was a little easier. everyone's always wishing for things they don't have but not willing to put in the hard work for it, (me included) but i'm gonna start trying to put in the work for a healthier body and healthier heart.
alright thought i'd close with some winter-themed pics. most i got from http://guysinlongjohns.tumblr.com/ hope you have someone to enjoy this cuddle weather with!
Monday, December 2, 2013
my first thought when i found out bob harper, some trainer on the biggest loser, was gay, my first thought was not "oh, he's gay" but rather "damn, he looks good for 48!"
bonus: as i was looking for pictures of bob, i came across chris powell, another stud who does one of these weight loss shows. unfortunately, this one is straight.
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Thursday, November 28, 2013
gay stuff: jockstraps
i understand there are a fair number of guys out there who enjoy seeing another guy in a jockstrap. i have never had an opinion on them. i never played sports so i never experienced that locker room atmosphere so that may be part of it. anyway one of my fuck buddies was very into it and got me a strap to wear. he suggested i try just wearing it as my underwear which i did the other day and i guess you could say i'm a turned man now. now i didn't want anybody to accidentally just see the jock band so i wore my regular underwear too (boxer briefs btw) but it was kinda hot to be wearing the jock all day. a little personal secret if you may.
i don't know how common the jock is in regular day sports nowadays, but i thought compression shorts were getting more popular. i would definitely find it hot to see somebody in the hospital in scrubs and being able to see their jock lines. i guess i just see jocks as more of a style thing, akin to the woman's g-string. what do you think? (and practically speaking, why do they have to be ass-less? i never got that.)
i understand there are a fair number of guys out there who enjoy seeing another guy in a jockstrap. i have never had an opinion on them. i never played sports so i never experienced that locker room atmosphere so that may be part of it. anyway one of my fuck buddies was very into it and got me a strap to wear. he suggested i try just wearing it as my underwear which i did the other day and i guess you could say i'm a turned man now. now i didn't want anybody to accidentally just see the jock band so i wore my regular underwear too (boxer briefs btw) but it was kinda hot to be wearing the jock all day. a little personal secret if you may.
i don't know how common the jock is in regular day sports nowadays, but i thought compression shorts were getting more popular. i would definitely find it hot to see somebody in the hospital in scrubs and being able to see their jock lines. i guess i just see jocks as more of a style thing, akin to the woman's g-string. what do you think? (and practically speaking, why do they have to be ass-less? i never got that.)
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